Warring Selves (a telephone dialogue)

Hello

Silence

Hello who is calling please ?

Are you the one everyone loves?

Ah I can tell by the tone of your voice that you must be the one the boss wrote about last month.

You self satisfied, supercilious........

Yes, I thought it was you. Feeling a bit unwanted again are we?

Look, I am just calling to tell you that it is because of you that I feel unloved. I’ve tried telling you before but every time I get you on the line you just piss me off. I watch you shining in public but you don’t fool me. I know all your little secrets. It isn’t fair that everyone loves you. If they knew what I know about you....

Look, is there anything I can.........

And that’s another thing, I can’t stand it when you try being helpful. Every time you try to help me I feel helpless and when I feel helpless, a violent rage crushes me under its weight.

Your insatiable appetite for attention makes it very difficult to love you.

And what makes you an authority on love? You might always say and do the right thing in public but that does not give you the exclusive rights to love. I, for one, positively detest you. I could even say I hate you. Yes, I am sure I hate you.

The feeling is probably mutual now that you mention it.

And another thing; you never invite me out with you.You hide me behind that social smile of yours. no wonder I feel so unloved. I feel desperate.Have you no awareness of my exquisite sadness?

Would you just listen to the way you talk to me! You shout; you talk of hatred; you claim exquisite sadness. Your exaggerations horrify me. You seriously wouldn’t expect me to include you in my social life let alone my professional life would you? Quite frankly I don’t trust you.You are unpredictable therefore unreliable. I simply cannot have you messing up my life.

Ah you are finally getting a little honest with yourself. About time.

Now who is being a smart ass

I love it when I can push that iron self control into showing a few cracks. I feel better already. Glad I called!

I am so tired of you. It costs me to keep you under control. Just tell me what you need and be on your way.

I just want a little love and acknowledgement and I am not going away.

OK I love you. How’s that? Satisfied?

Now who is being mean? You see we are two of a kind. I am just more authentic than you. I have an emotional life. I feel things.

Good for you! That just explains why you make such a fuss about being unloved but it doesn’t explain why I feel so insecure in your company.

It’s obvious isn’t it? I respond to the moment and you are always planning ahead. We don’t speak the same language. I swim in an ocean of sadness and drown in planetary pain; I wail and howl with anguish; I bemoan the fragility of humankind; I....

Stop stop! Completely over the top again! I certainly understand why I leave you at home when I go out to work. I think we have to have a word to the boss because I cannot see how we are ever going to work out our differences. And how old are you by the way?

Same age as you!

Oh no you’re not!

AT THE COURT OF DYSFUNCTIONAL SELVES

(some time after this exchange):

The jury has met and deliberated. After careful consideration of pleas from both parties and in light of their differing ages, interests, functions and experience of the world the jury wishes to make the following recommendations:

That the one who is a natural organizer shall continue to manage daily affairs

That the one who has poetry in her soul shall find a means of expressing it

That the one (better known as the boss) who mediates between them shall demonstrate patience, love and understanding towards them both

That a translator shall be provided when either party fails to communicate in a common language

That the host body shall teach them both the art of loving

That all parties shall surrender to the principles of Loving Kindness that govern the Universe indeed to the Love that passeth all understanding.

To be continued.............

Lynne

Photos & traduction by Alain GEOFFROY